3 Men and a Wee Dip

What is it about men, that you just know when it comes to them giving you an explanation about something, nothing....................., ABSOLUTELY nothing is ever as it seems?

If a man thinks he is in trouble with you, he will half everything - anything to minimise the bother he thinks he is going to be in; on the other hand, if he is trying to impress you, everything doubles in quantity, as though he really does think and believe that quantity is much more impressive and important than quality!

Now I have many men in my life - my husband, my sons, my father, my brother, my nephew....you get the picture? .....................and no matter what, they all seem to have been born with this 'half it or double it' gene that they genuinely believe will get them/keep them out of bother.

As if!!

Now take this sorry tale of 3 men and a wee dip...............my husband, my father (also know as the elderly relative), my brother and an altercation with a 'wee dip'!

Last month on Mull, was the annual Isle of Mull Car Rally - it runs over three days and two nights and has done so for over 30 years. There are 160+ competitors and for enthusiastic motor sports fans it is a great weekend for participants and spectators alike.

My father and brother travelled north from over the border (England) and came to stay with us so they could watch the rally. John, my husband was tasked with locating some of the best vantage points to watch the rally from and as one of the night stages was being held a few miles from us, John did as he was asked and dutifully went out on a recce to find a good spot to watch the rally from.

So far so good.

Now, for spectators to get into these viewing points they have to leave their vehicles some distance away and walk in; because of safety issues they also have to do it some time before the roads are officially closed and before the cars start arriving for the start of the race.

Are you still with me?

Well, John had done his recce and even though he had done it in broad daylight he was confident he would be able to relocate the view point (via a gate, across a field and up a wee hill) at 10 p.m. at night in the pitch black (there are very few street lights here). Father-in law and brother-in-law were fair impressed and so that night off the three of them went, complete with wet weather gear, torches, rucksacks, sandwiches and flasks of hot soup. There's nothing quite like being prepared and as my father is a retired military man and my brother a former boy Scout, preparation is all important on these night excursions!

Fortunately the weather was kind to them that night - it was mild and it was dry. BUT it had been raining heavily for some days a few days earlier.

Now whose account I'm supposed to believe about what happened next is anyone's guess - needless to say, I got three very different versions over breakfast the next morning and to this day I still don't know who to believe.

What HAS been agreed is that the rally went very well. Even in the dark they could see and hear the cars racing round the chicanes, through the bends, up the hills and out again down the other side -throaty roars, sparks trailing behind, bouncing head lights and disco beating last minute braking. By all accounts it was all rather exhilarating.

But HOW to account for the mud bath that followed them home at 2 a.m. in the morning?

Version 1: (My Father's aged 65 years aka The Elderly Relative)

Following a lull in the racing about 1 a.m., a joint decision was reached that now would be a good (and a safe) time to make tracks out and back to the car before the racing started again and as the racing appeared to have stopped (for the time being) they could walk back to the car along the road (the same road that is, being used as a car rally racing track). But instead he was over ruled by his son-in-law (John), my husband, and they were to go back the same way they came in!

Except that John decided to take a short cut.......................without telling them,.................which ended up with all three of them cart wheeling down a hill, through some scrub and into an over flowing burn full of mud!

Version 2: (My brother's aged 44 years)

He just followed the leader (John and my father), did as he was told and nearly pee'd his pants laughing so much at the situation !

Version 3: (My husband John aka Noddy, aged 46 years)

Complete denial at the inference that he didn't know where he was going, .............................he was in full and complete control at all times, ........................he was a leader of men,...................... the other two were just 'lily whites' who weren't used to living in the country and were constantly complaining, and the 'wee' dip was just a little unexpected surprise that just added to the excitment of the evening!

I'm sure somewhere in amongst the three versions lies the truth.

Interestingly though, 2 nights later we were entertaining friends for dinner and this story was then again told. One of the friends on realising the location of the view point and the route taken out from it exclaimed, "For goodness sake Noddy, that's a SEVERE drop you fell from there - I'm surprised you didn't all break your necks!"

And the moral of the story? .....................my point about men has been completely and utterly proven. Men really do either half something or they double it depending on the situation!